Fake it 'til you make it. We've all been there. Confidence can be elusive, and there are many times we wish we had more of it. But here’s the truth: confidence isn’t some magical trait that only a lucky few are born with. It’s a skill, something we can all build and strengthen. And the best part? Science! Your brain can change and you can hack it to work in your favor!
Neuroplasticity
Let’s talk about neuroplasticity. It’s a fancy word for your brain’s superpower: the ability to rewire itself based on what you think, do, and experience. Think of your brain like a well-worn trail in the woods. Every time you walk the same path—whether it’s practicing positive self-talk or spiraling into self-doubt—you’re clearing that trail and making it easier to follow the next time.
For example, when you’re learning a new skill like cooking or dancing, your brain creates new neural connections. The more you practice, the stronger and more automatic those connections become. Confidence is no different. The more you practice thinking and acting confidently, the more your brain reinforces those "I’ve got this" pathways.
Try this: Pick one small challenge you’ve been avoiding. Face it head-on, even if it’s uncomfortable. Every little win adds to your confidence toolkit.
Confidence Is Contagious
Here’s something wild: your brain has mirror neurons, which basically let you “catch” other people’s emotions and behaviors. When you see someone walking into a room with confidence, your brain’s mirror neurons light up like you’re doing the same thing.
This is why being around confident, positive people can make you feel more self-assured. It’s also why spending too much time with negativity can pull you down. Your brain is watching, learning, and mirroring. The people we spend the most time with have a significant impact on our thoughts, behaviors, and who we become
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." - Jim Rohn
Pay attention to the people you spend time with. Surround yourself with people who inspire and uplift you. Seek out people who overcame a challenge similar to yours. Watch a killer TED Talk or read about someone who defeated the odds and emerged victorious. Your brain will start mimicking those vibes.
The Power of Visualization
Athletes have been using a confidence "cheat code" for years—the power of visualization. When Olympic runners or pro tennis players mentally rehearse their winning moments, they’re not just daydreaming. They’re activating the same parts of their brain as they would in real life.
As amazing as your brain is, it doesn’t know the difference between imagining something vividly and actually experiencing it. So, if you’ve got a big moment coming up—a presentation, an interview, or even a first date—spend a few minutes picturing yourself crushing it. Envision yourself walking in with confidence, hear the positive feedback, and imagine how it feels to enjoy the moment. You’re priming your brain for the real thing.
3 Small Steps to Build Big Confidence
Building confidence doesn't happen overnight. But there are some simple steps - backed by science - that will help you tame your inner critic and put you on the path to greater confidence.
Talk to yourself like you would a friend: Catch yourself when you’re being overly critical. Instead of “I’m terrible at this,” try, “I’m still learning, and that’s okay.”
Borrow someone else’s confidence: Surround yourself (in real life or online) with people who inspire you. Watch their energy and let your mirror neurons do the work.
Rehearse success in your mind: Spend just 5 minutes visualizing yourself succeeding. Make it detailed and vivid. Your brain will believe it’s possible and start working toward it.
Pick one that you can start practicing today. Then add another one tomorrow and the third one the next day. By practicing positive habits, choosing inspiring influences, and visualizing success, you’re literally rewiring your brain for confidence.
You’ve Got This—And So Does Your Brain!
Your brain is designed to grow and adapt. Confidence is something you can build. This year, let’s ditch self-doubt and lean into what’s possible. You’re more capable than you think—and your brain is already on board.
There's a great Rodney Dangerfield bit about faking it:
"So my wife and I are trying to spark some love making. After about 20 minute, nothing is happening. She looks at me and says, 'You couldn't think of anyone either?'"
😂