Since psychologists Peter Salovey and John Mayer first introduced the concept of emotional intelligence in 1990 and Daniel Goleman popularized it with his 1995 bestselling book, EQ has largely been accepted as an essential skill that sets the all-stars apart from the rest.
In a nutshell, emotional Intelligence is defined as the ability to recognize and regulate emotions in ourselves and others. Research done by Travis Bradberry, the author of “Emotional Intelligence 2.0,” suggests that only about 36% of people have that ability.
This is partially due to an inadequate vocabulary that prevents people from properly identifying what they’re feeling. Every negative feeling is described as, “bad” and every positive feeling is described as “good” or fine.
However, those with high EQ can specifically name their emotions, which then allows them to deal with them in the most effective way. EQ has been touted as the secret sauce to a wide range of social issues from bullying to conflict resolution to more engaged workplace culture.
As a result, organizational leaders, coaches, policymakers, and educators have embraced it as the magic bullet for success. When used for good, EQ enables us to create and nurture healthy and fulfilling relationships that enhance our lives personally and professionally.
However, scientists have discovered that there may actually be a dark side of of high EQ.
Leading the skeptics is organizational psychologist Adam Grant who maintains, "like any skill, being able to read people can be used for good or evil." When people hone their emotional skills, Grant argues, they also become better at hiding their true feelings and creating pseudo personas to deceive others or obtain some type of gain.
It is very important to understand that emotional intelligence is not the opposite of intelligence, it is not the triumph of heart over head—it is the unique intersection of both. - David Caruso
The Darkside of EQ
People who are skilled are reading others are also able to use that ability to appeal to the emotional state of those around them rather than rational thought. Jochen Menges studied this phenomenon with his research team at the University of Cambridge. They found when a speech is filled with emotion, the audience is less likely to scrutinize the content.
Adam Grant identified EI at its worst in his article, The Dark Side of Emotional Intelligence:
"Recognizing the power of emotions...one of the most influential leaders of the 20th century spent years studying the emotional effects of his body language. Practicing his hand gestures and analyzing images of his movements allowed him to become 'an absolutely spellbinding public speaker,' says the historian Roger Moorhouse--'it was something he worked very hard on.'His name was Adolf Hitler."
In addition, When audience members used emotional words like inspirational, fascinating, and charismatic to describe the speaker, they were much less likely to critically contemplate the message or remember it later. Ironically, the more emotionally moved the audience members were, the more they claimed to remember later. Menges referred to the propensity to blindly accept emotional messaging as the “awestruck effect."
"We ran an experiment on the "awestruck effect," in which the same speech was given two different ways. The first time, the speaker delivered his script with passion. The second time he gave it in a regular style. We discovered that the regular speech was more memorable. If people are mesmerised, they seem to lose the capacity to question."
In another study conducted at the University of Toronto, psychologists measured participants’ Machiavellian tendencies, their knowledge of emotion management and how often they intentionally undermined colleagues. The study concluded that Machiavellians with high EQ had the most harmful behaviors and were not hesitant about embarrassing their peers for personal gain.
Andrew Giambrone shared research in The Atlantic examining "a correlation between EQ and narcissism, raising the possibility that narcissists with high EQ might use their 'charming, interesting, and even seductive' qualities for 'malicious purposes,' such as deceiving others." In a similar study, psychologists linked 'narcissistic exploitativeness' with 'emotion recognition.' In other words, those who were prone to manipulating others were better at reading them.
Grow Your EQ
While there is a wealth of research that prescribes the recipe for emotional intelligence, the hallmarks of EQ are awareness, focus, and intention. Get started with a few simple attitudes and behaviors that emotionally intelligent people consistently demonstrate.
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